Tom Gets Around

Budapest/Vienna – Europe’s Sexiest Architecture?

Location(s): Budapest, Hungary   |   Vienna, Austria

Dates travelled: 20th – 25th June 2024

The Trip

Lisbon gave me the travel bug. Barely a month went by before I was scheming on my next destination. The first in mind was Austria. However, there were no direct flights until the end of the year. Here I have to thank a lad I met in Fiji (travel story pending), as I completely copied him. He had flown to Budapest, spent a day or so there, and then took a train across eastern Europe to Vienna.
I don’t know exactly what it was about Vienna that attracted me. I guess it’s a place I had always associated with charm and elegance. I hoped it would be so, as something else Portugal gave me was a newfound appreciation for European architecture. As I was to later find, I’d hit the belly of the beast.

Booking solo flights has bagged me an aisle seat nearly every time, and on this occasion I had extra room. The lady who took the window seat said to me: ‘You can put your bags here if you want,’ gesturing to the middle seat between us. ‘This person’s not coming.’
I asked her if she was solo travelling. She told me a story of how she’d booked the holiday with her boyfriend, but she ‘couldn’t deal with the violence any longer,’ and they had gone their separate ways.
Now, let’s talk about this.
I mentioned in my Lisbon blog that for the past twelve months I had been trying to build up my people skills and add strings of confidence to my self-development bow.
This lady told me about her own self-development journey, and how running her hair salon left her little time to herself, but lately she’d been reading books on mindset and spirituality. To her, this little vacation was an opportunity for rest, but also growth. We both concluded that we were exactly where we were supposed to be and our refreshing conversation was further evidence of that. I didn’t delve any deeper into the violence she mentioned, but hats off to that lady for the positive choices she made, and let’s hope wherever she is in the world, she’s doing all right.
Back to bragging about how well-travelled I am.

Day One (Budapest)

Immediately Budapest felt a different world from Lisbon. A sizeable proportion is derelict, with waves of run-down apartment buildings and terraced concrete blocks spanning entire streets. If you’re not a city person, it can be overwhelming to plonk yourself amongst such heat and urbanisation.
As you probably know, Budapest is a go-to destination for stags and lads’/gals’ holidays, so the clientele vastly differed from Lisbon’s too. Far more groups of youngsters out their tree at night time.

I stepped out of the concrete jungle onto the marble floor of the Royals Downtown aparthotel. Everything inside was white and flashy, with cool, L-shaped LEDs in the corridor, drastically contrasting Buda’s style from what I had seen so far. I took a studio apartment, which was a small but immaculately clean space in a great location. Most agreeable for an overnight stay.
I turned in early, eager to get at it the next day.

Day Two

Temperatures quickly reached the high twenties the next morning and, as I said, Buda is very built-up, which magnifies the heat. I’m giving the impression that it’s a hot, claustrophobic nightmare. Let me repent.
‘Hősök tere’ (Heroes’ Square) is an open plaza, crowned by stunning stone pillars and statues of men riding horseback and chariots.

The Square is surrounded on two sides by art museums, and backs onto the ‘Városliget’ which is the city’s main park. I took advantage of the shade under the trees, appreciating the greenery and the moat around ‘Vajdahunyad Vára’.

Another attraction which draws crowds from far and wide is the famous thermal bathhouse, also found in the park. As I was without company and without my swimmers, I chose to stay dry and save the experience for another holiday.

I briefly dibbed back into the concrete jungle to find somewhere for food. The five-hour morning fast was terminated with a goulash of meat, potatoes and beans (potentially it was a ‘Cholent’), plus a milkshake. I realise I didn’t share this in the Lisbon blog, but I’m an absolute milkshake fiend. The stew was good but I fondly remember that milkshake as a showstopper.

For someone that loves to walk, Buda’s heat challenged me. Granted I was marginally ill, but for fellow travellers I must recommend organising some form of transport. I hugged the Danube, going south and passing through Kossuth Lajos tér and Lipótváros. ‘Országgyűlés’ or the Hungarian Houses of Parliament are based here, as well as the Exchange Palace, and Szent István Bazilika. I was doing a bit of a whistle-stop tour so didn’t see much save for the exterior of these buildings, and I know I missed a few on the other side of the Danube, but I still did 30k+ steps, so save your judgements please and thank you.

A chimney cake and a two-minute Hungarian language lesson. Two things I got from Gelataria Pichler Fagyizó. The former is a Hungarian sweet, a ribbed cylindrical pastry filled with whatever you fancy. I got mine brimming with three flavours of ice cream.

One stop I had to make was the ‘Nagycsarnok’ (Great Market Hall), A central hub of food and shopping. It was hot enough outdoors in Buda, but in there, with the hordes of people milling and food cooking, it was sweltering.

I went upstairs to a stall selling langos. I’ll save you a Google search: Langos is Hungarian fried bread. It is also potentially the oiliest food you’ll ever lay hands on. Cheese is a typical topping. I just had a sprinkling of everything available, from pulled pork to crispy onions. The dough makes a great base and can be combined with practically anything. I certainly recommend you try it in Buda, but don’t make plans to eat for the rest of the day. Having eaten so much prior, and being under the weather, I felt like the unhealthiest bloke who ever lived once langos was added to the mix.

I collected my bag from the hotel and then took an Uber to the train station. I tried to read my book on the RJX, but couldn’t help gazing at the fields between Hungary and Austria. I took videos on my phone but for some reason deleted them. I passed mesmerising rows of bright blue, pink, orange, and doing so at such speed created a wonderful, trippy spectrum. We stopped at Győr, a small city along the Danube. The station was practically deserted. A girl sat across the row from me got off at this stop. It just made me think. She was probably around my age, maybe slightly younger. She was riding the train, like I was. Reading a book, like I was. Yet, she hopped off in a city I had never heard of and probably lived a life completely different to mine. And there are people who get on that same RJX train every day, who are headed to even smaller settlements, towns and villages, who live lives entirely different to my own. I spared a thought for the woman on the plane, who lived in Nottingham, just up the M1 from me. How long had she put up with the violence for? Putting up with any is a lot.
Maybe I’ve just exposed that I haven’t yet conceded the world doesn’t revolve around me.

The train terminated and I took my first steps on Viennese soil. After riding the ‘straßenbahn’ (tram) the wrong way, I ended up walking to my hotel. Campanile Vienna South in Wien was where I laid my weary head. It’s in a pretty good location: close to shops and gyms, away from the noise of the city centre, whilst remaining accessible. If you’re someone who likes to bang gym whilst travelling, then you may be better to go more central. The hotel prices are dearer but the gyms in Wien were expensive health club-style gyms.
At the hotel, I adopted the same evening routine as the previous night. Get in, get unpacked, get on Tinder, get nowhere with it, get to bed.

Day Three (Vienna)

I hit a full-body sesh first thing in the morning, which set me up well for a day of exciting exploits. From a gym vending machine I copped a Gold’s Gym protein shake containing something like 50 or 60 grams of the stuff, plus I’d scouted a place called Kenny’s where I could get a healthy breakfast. Only issue I faced once I got back from the gym was this: Similarly to Lisbon, loads of movement and too much starch on the first day had me on the ropes. I decided this time not to pressure myself into more walking, so I got my protein waffles and power oats bowl from Kenny’s and did some chillaxing. I left around midday, taking a tram to Schönbrunn for a palace tour.

We had a remarkably knowledgeable and entertaining Croation bloke named Mario as our group’s guide. One of the first rooms he took us to was a grand hall, lit by candles and laced gold chandeliers and gold frames for the high-vaulted ceiling paintings. Schönbrunn partly inspired one of the settings in a novel I’m working on, which I aim to have published in early 2027. That’s a fantasy novel, but Schönbrunn showed me that I’d be hard-pressed to exceed the limits of human decadence even in a story where magic exists and anything is possible.

One of the most interesting paintings is a depiction of a royal wedding in 1760. I say so because The artist, Martin van Meytens, was asked to include Mozart in the picture, as Mozart had recently become a bit of a superstar. Mozart hadn’t actually been present at the wedding, so the painting displays one of the earliest examples of photoshop to include the little maestro in the frame.

We were led through glorious bedchambers and corridors, listening to stories about Napoleon and the Viennese royalty, then exited the palace and went to the gardens. The Schönbrunn gardens added a layer of tranquillity and Instagrammability to the tour.

Mario took us along the maze of gravel footpaths through the endless greenery and told us the meaning behind the impressive sculptures dotted around. The tour ended right at the top of the gardens, where stands the Gloriette.
Somebody decided that one magnificent palace wasn’t enough, and another needed to be constructed at higher altitude for dining and festivals, and so stands the Schönbrunn gardens’ Gloriette, where our tour ended.


From here you get arguably the best views in Vienna, and I’m as much of a sucker for views as I am for milkshakes. I asked Mario to take a few snaps of me in front of the Gloriette with the intention of slapping them on my Tinder profile, but the camera on my phone isn’t great and I looked like a bit of an NPC, so they remained in my photo album until now. I’m glad I finally found the confidence to post it.

Up there, I found myself having a natter with a family from Kuwait. I’m always intrigued to hear Kuwaiti people’s take on English weather, and their experience was no different. Kuwait has average temperatures of over 40oC in summer, but the country is designed to accommodate. Thus, every Kuwaiti I’ve spoken to has told me how they struggle much more with the heat in London, particularly on the tube.
I nabbed a German donner and some sushi on the way home, and spent the evening in my room organising my itinerary for the days to come.

Day Four

Next morning I made for Karlsplatz, in the centre, for a day trip. Vienna has superb public transport, by the way. The trams are highly convenient, run all over the city, and I didn’t experience them being as crowded as the London underground at any point.
Whilst wandering around Karlsplatz, my ears picked up a pair of Australian accents, which led to a conversation with two people from Sydney, on a tour of Europe and the States.

Karlsplatz


The meeting point for the excursion was outside the Vienna State Opera House. I boarded an air-conditioned coach and sat towards the back. I was in amongst a melting pot of travellers: New Yorkers, Spaniards and even a trio of ladies from Jerusalem. Our guide grabbed a mic and fed us info on the landmarks we passed on our way out of the city. I kept an ear out when she was speaking in Spanish to see how much I could pick up.

Like the train journey from Budapest to Vienna, the drive through the countryside allowed me to marvel at nature in a part of Europe I’d never seen before. I took particular interest in the terrace farming we saw in the foothills, the likes of which I’ve only seen otherwise in Nepal.
Below the maze-like terrace patterns were rows upon rows of grape trees.

Austria is home to miles of vineyards; some even found inside of Vienna. The guide mentioned the troubles farmers have with pests eating the grapes. The strategy they use to combat this? roses. Grape farmers will plant rose bushes at the ends of their vineyards because the grape-eating pests will flock to the rose bushes first. The rose bush is a double-whammy because it attracts predators that prey on the pests too.

We stopped in Durnstein, a town from the medieval times. We only had about an hour here, but in that hour I managed to find a handmade chocolate shop. You know where this is going. We established in the last article my affection for foreign confection. It was well worth it, too. I resisted the urge to buy a bag of rabbit shit, aka ‘schokoladeperlen’ (chocolate pearls), instead opting for a slab of caramel and a pack of bon bons. I’m not much into sweets so the bon bons were a bad cop. Clearly should’ve gone with the rabbit shit.

Durnstein

The bus then took us deeper into Wachau – a land I can only presume was named by Bruce Lee – and boarded a boat on the Danube. I sat next to a very kind Lithuanian lady who was leading a group tour of her own. The boat took us past more villages and medieval castles, including Schloss Schönbühel in Aggsbach.

Just before two p.m. we got to Melk Abbey. First, I trundled around the old town. The handsome aesthetic, calm atmosphere, and easy access to nature in rural Austria truly made me consider moving there at some point, or at least buying a property there. I read that many great minds go to secluded retreats like cottages or lakeside cabins to disconnect from the 100mph world most city-dwellers live in, and this helps them to create and process ideas. Being a great mind myself, I may well do the same once I make my first few millys from writing. Who knows? You might catch me planting rose bushes at the end of my vineyard a couple of years from now.
After an hour I returned for a guided tour of Melk Abbey. I loved the design. Luxurious in it’s own way, and different from the many palaces inside of Vienna.

I took the opportunity to do a tour with a Spanish guide. I had spent a couple of years practicing, and I must say, I think I got a good grasp of what she was saying:
Basically, Melk Abbey was founded by Napoleon Bonaparte after his marriage to Nicki Minaj came to an end. Things looked bleak when Hannibal Lecter rode in on a surfboard and enslaved the warlocks, but fortunately Tom Cruise was there to win back their freedom in a game of Connect 4. And to think, all this happened in 2002!
Jokes aside, the Spanish tour pleasantly surprised me. The group was far more interactive and conversational with the guide than English-speakers usually are. it made me smile how they voiced their collective approval when she said an important focus of Austrian education was reading.
‘Mm, leer, sí’
This royal palace wasn’t quite as outrageously decorated as Schönbrunn, and obviously not as big. It did, however, have an astounding library that contains over 100,000 books at the time of writing.

‘Weiner Schnitzel’, or breaded veal cutlets, is a hallmark of Viennese cuisine. Mine came with roasties and cranberry sauce. Wunderbar! On this excursion there is also the option to see Paradiesgarten, but I was out of time. Despite not seeing the gardens, I was satisfied and would say the Danube Valley tour is a great choice if you want to escape the city and get a feel for the countryside around Vienna. I’ll leave a link to that and to the Schönbrunn tour in the itinerary at the end.

The Weiner jacked up my appetite for Austrian food, and my interest was piqued by the queues for hot dog trucks when I got off the bus back in Karlsplatz. As good as the wurst was, a hole in my confidence here was that I didn’t feel comfortable eating out in restaurants alone like I did in Lisbon. Perhaps because Vienna didn’t feel quite as touristy, or because I don’t speak German. Equally it could highlight that I’ve a low social battery and really don’t mind spending evenings in my hotel room with my own company. If that’s not your thing then I’m sure Vienna will have plenty to offer in terms of nightlife.

Day Five

The Danube Valley excursion didn’t involve too much walking, and so I was well-rested for my favourite kind of day: eating and ambling through the city. The schedule commenced with a push workout at the gym which sent my mind to a better place and my finances to a worse one (forty euros for a day pass, y’all).

Back at the gaff, I showered, meditated, then burst out the front door feeling like the man. I took the tram first to Schweizer Garten, a park near Belvedere Palace that provides a home for art and sculptures, and across the street you find brightly-coloured terraced buildings not unlike Bo-Kaap in Cape Town.

Belvedere Palace was the first monument on my list, and what a way to kick off the day. Belvedere is as pretty as it gets. It follows similar presets to other grand constructions in Vienna: Blinding white gates and staircases, intricate patterns decorating the exterior walls, and statues lining the parapets and stairs. You can go around the side to the Schlossgarten, which mimics that of Schönbrunn, only scaled down. One of, if not my favourite building in Vienna.

A second building stands at the far end of the garden, in Lower Belvedere. It is possible to go inside both upper and lower to see historic art work, stables or the orangery. I had other plans.

I progressed through Gußhausstraße and Resselpark to the Naschmarkt. Over a hundred stalls, loads of them serving food. I dropped in at an Asian-French fusion place called Li’s for sushi.

Then, knowing I’d need energy on the go, I hit up the Middle-Eastern section for a mix of sweet, roasted nuts, and a phat baklava roll. Their food was good but the market in general isn’t cheap. The guys selling nuts will also try to get you to buy way more than you wanted, so you just have to stand on bidness with them. That was my emergency snack boxed off, but I needed something to regulate my temperature in the day’s heat. Good thing I encountered the frozen yoghurt stand on my way out.

En route to the Hofburg, I came across Burggarten, another park that wouldn’t look misplaced in the backyards of Schönbrunn, and includes a Mozart monument with pink flowers arranged in a musical note before it.

Then I was at the Hofburg. It’s the city’s biggest attraction, having both the Sisi and Silver museums, and the Imperial Flats. Whilst not being as aesthetic or delicately built as Belvedere Palace, it’s a display of pure grandeur in terms of size. The sole reason I didn’t partake in a tour was that it probably wouldn’t have left me time for much else that day.

Touring the Spanish Riding School made a change from history and palaces. Many of the horses had been taken to another part of Austria for their summer vacation, but we were still able to see the arena where they trained and performed, in addition to the equipment room where saddles and stirrups were kept. We visited the stables where a few horses remained. These were big boys, huffing, grunting, and stamping their hooves. Handsome though they were, I couldn’t ignore the fact that I was in the presence of powerful, intimidating beasts that could kill me with one kick. Now I know how others feel when I enter a room.

Continuing my streak of impressive buildings and dazzling gardens, I hiked to Volksgarten. It sounds ungrateful and ignorant, but by now I had gorged on Vienna’s majesty so much that I was becoming desensitised. The crowning feature of Volksgarten is the Temple of Theseus, a masterpiece (in my opinion) based on Ancient Greek temples. Theseus is the geezer who did the Minotaur in. That’s pretty deserving of a temple being built in your name, if you ask me.

During the drive to Melk the day before, we had passed the Austrian Parliament buildings. These really captivated me, so I wanted to gaze at them again before going home.
Why, Tom, do you love looking at buildings so much? I hear you ask. Well, I think part of it comes from working in construction. As a Site Engineer, I’ve been involved in all parts of a job, from earthworks to finishing touches, and I’ve seen what can go wrong with a single concrete slab, or a drainage run. And that’s with all the information, specialised labour force and advanced technology that we have today. It’s therefore difficult not to admire these profound edifices which were designed on paper without the help of computers, and built over years, or decades, with no excavators, or forklift trucks, and many of the finer details were carved by hand.

Case in point: Domkirche St. Stephan. A Roman Catholic place of worship that has existed for almost 900 years. Inside it was full of tourists taking photos, lighting candles, and drifting around, admiring the effort that must have gone into it. I then traversed the ‘Donaukanal’ via tram to spend a short while in Augarten, but my best bits of Vienna were over the other side of that canal.

Dinner was a falafel wrap. I’d forgotten that until I wrote this story. Dessert, on the other hand, needed no prompt for me to remember. Vienna, like Germany, does a mean apple strudel. Yet, I couldn’t close off the trip with just one pastry. I went to one of the many delicatessens for my strudel, plus a slice of some other God-tier cake. For me, that was the best way to round off five glorious days of adventure.

Day Six

The next day I took a train back to Budapesg, flew to Amsterdam, and then to Birmingham, where my journey came to an end.

Conclusion

A return to Budapest is needed, either for a lads’ holiday or to see what lies the other side of the Danube, but I would time it for the colder months of the year. Same goes for Vienna, but frankly I would happily spend any season there. The place hooked me with its well-functioning public transport, marvellous overall design, and delightful food scene. Whilst I must see more of Europe before I crown the home of the continent’s sexiest architecture, Vienna is easily the current frontrunner. Neither capital felt dangerous, however Vienna had less of a language barrier, a larger mass of sober foreigners, and I generally felt slightly safer when walking around.

Social/Dating

Conversations were quality over quantity in both cities. The ones I did have were fun and insightful, including one with an aspiring singer in Budapest. But, like I say, quantity was slacking. People seemed to mind their own business more in Hungary, and were more abrupt in conversation. In Vienna, too, asking for a girl’s Instagram or convos of such nature seemed less of the done thing than in, say, Lisbon. Without beating around the bush, Vienna is the trickiest place I’ve been to in terms of securing a date.
Let’s throw some context into the matter though. Buda and Vienna are two busy capital cities, not as laid back nor containing quite the proportion of tourists that Lisbon had. I fully appreciate not everyone has time and energy to listen to me talk bollocks. Plus, Budapest receives boatloads of pissed up English running riot round the clock, so can I really blame them for not giving me the time of day?
I would say be mindful of the potential closedness of people, but don’t be deterred, dear reader; every chat I had on this trip was well worth it, and I will assuredly find myself in that part of the world again.

Food

Hungary has dozens more dishes I wish to taste, and the chimney cake was so nice I’ve got to try it twice. Being Eastern Europe, there are plenty of stews and goulashes on the menus, and I found it to be a fine blend of familiar and unfamiliar flavours. Exhibit A: Langos. Not quite Pizza, not quite garlic bread, but it is the horse’s berdoobers.
With Viennese cuisine, I let myself down. Other than the Weiner Schnitzel, I barely tried any authentic Austrian food. Aside from fancy restaurants, there was a spreading of healthy food spots (such as Kenny’s) suiting travel fanatics unwilling to miss their protein intake. Bunches of flashy bakeries and cafes as well, though the pastry scene is not style over substance. Pastries and cakes in Vienna are something of an art form: Sexy presentation, moist (not dry or soggy), and flavoursome without venturing into sickly sweet.

I hope you got something out of this blog. I know I haven’t paid too many compliments to Budapest, so hope I haven’t put too much negative light on it. As I said, I will be going back at some point, hopefully without a cold.
The next two blogs will cover my holiday in Brazil in October 2024.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you’re taking good care of yourself.

Sincerely,
Tom Hooke

How Tom Got Around